The Kopalings: One Big Angry Family
by AGFunkyMonk
Summary: This is a ficcy that follows the hilarious life of Bowser and his 7 kids. Bowser's POV
1. Car Ride From Hell

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Nintendo Characters in this story. There, I said it.  
  
The Koopalings: One Big Angry Family  
  
January 21, 2004  
  
I was so close to success I could taste it! But, that stupid plumber had to ruin everything once again. As if my day couldn't have gotten any worse, I just remembered I had to take those kids of mine fishing tomorrow. Greeeaat.  
  
"Alright, Kamek, yer sure you got everything under control, right? I don't wanna be coming home and finding out that my castle was the victim to a couple of pyromaniacs or something, got that?" Kamek nodded and I was relatively convinced that he'd take good care of my "home" while I was away. I looked over at my sorry excuse for children, and signaled for them to follow me. They were all dressed up in fishing gear, hands full with fishin' rods and tackle boxes and what not. Heh, them fishing. Now this'll be good. Their expressions were priceless: Every one of them was red with excitement, anxious to reel in some big mother fish. I just hope they won't come crying to me when they realize they won't ever catch anything...well, maybe a huge wad of sea weed caught on their hooks, but other than that....  
  
We loaded our equipment into the back of our crappy old RV and then hopped in ourselves. I buckled up, and then turned around to face those little brats, and then barked out, "Alright, you all better put on your damned seatbelts, 'cause if we crash I don't wanna be wiping your insides off the windshield!" They all gulped and clicked in their seat belts simultaneously. I laughed to myself, and the started up the engine. Ya see, I may look dumb to you, but I'm definitely not. I'm a king, a single father, and a thrifty, cunning villain at the same time. I need brains for this job. And ya see, intimidation and assertiveness is the key to parenting. So anyhoo, I backed out of the driveway, as we all waved bye to Kamek as he walked back into the castle. We pulled out onto the road, and drove off towards our next destination: Lake Hylia.   
  
Why here, you ask? Well, since it's a good distance away (and not to mention from another game entirely) I figure Mario and his clueless friends'll be far from me for more than a few days. Uh, I think five to be exact...but, you get what I mean. I was enjoying the soothing sounds of quiet, until a rather annoying voice interrupted. "Daddy, can you turn on the radio?" It was my only daughter, Wendy. She was one of the only kids of mine that I liked. She's turning out to be evil overlord material, you know. "Grr....sure, whatever, but how about we put on some real music, huh?" I replied. I did my best to keep my eyes on the road as I struggled to take out a CD from a little compartment beside my seat, and popped it into the CD player. I finished my task, and no, it's not as easy as it looks. As I straitened up and resumed driving like a normal person, the greatest band ever blasted out of the stereo. Yup, I'm talking about the mighty Led Zeppelin! Hell yeah! "Black Dog" was blaring out of everywhere as I started to sing along: "Hey, hey, momma said the way you move! Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you grove"! Que awesome guitar riff. But, that spectacular moment was also interrupted, only by a different kid. Lemmy. "Daaad," he whined, "Morton deflated my ball and called me a pansy!" I didn't have time to reply, because Morton then decided he needed to open his god forsaken mouth. "Yeah, well Roy dared me to!" Enter Ludwig. "You two are so immature!" "Oh, shut up," Wendy shouted, "and mind your own business!" The car exploded with shouts and yells, I couldn't even hear the song anymore. God, it started already. This is exactly why I dreaded this trip...sigh, and it hasn't even been one full day yet 


	2. WOOHOO! We're here!

Disclaimer: Ok, once again, no I do not own Mario or any of the other characters in this fic... And I think it's pretty obvious.  
  
The Koopalings: One Big Angry  
  
Family Part II  
  
January 22, 2004  
  
Well, part one of "Annoying Fishing Trip From Hell" completed. And although the 3-hour car ride to Lake Hylia was a painfully dreadful one, I have no doubt in my mind that the rest of the trip will be much worse.   
  
I woke up to the b-e-a-utiful sound of siblings arguing. What a surprise. I awoke to find myself still in the drivers seat of the car. I guess I forgot that we decided to spend the night in the van and set up camp the next day. Well, today is the next day and boy do I wish it wasn't. I slowly sat up and turned myself around to face my kids. It was the usual bickering between Wendy and Ludwig, with the low hum of Roy and Morton throwing every curse word under the sun at each other. Iggy, Lemmy, and Larry just sat there, staring at me. I had such a bad migraine already and I was getting terribly annoyed from all of the staring that I had to scream to get their attention. "For God's sake, can you all just stop bitchin' at each other for once!" They silenced themselves, and gave me their full attention. Once again, I know how to handle kids. I went on. "I take you guys on a nice fishing trip, and hearing all of this nonsense is NOT what I wanna be hearing right now!" The seven troublemakers lowered there heads and uttered a faint, "Sorry, dad," in unison. I cleared my throat, and spoke again, only in a calmer voice this time. "Alright, good to hear it. Now, why don't you all unpack the truck and start setting up camp. I'll be out in a minute...God, what I wouldn't do for alcohol right about now."   
  
I watched them as they all quietly jumped out of the truck, opened the trunk, and unloaded all of the supplies. I'm talking tents, fishing rods, tackle boxes, rafts, the real deal. When you fish with the king, you really fish. I finally forced myself to get out of the vehicle and joined the kids outside. We were camping a very short difference away from the lake, but we still got a great view of it. Nice and blue and sparkly and..er, well, everything else a lake is. Shimmer-like Shimmy....  
  
whatever the hell the word is..shimmery, that's it! So, I picked up one of our fold-out chairs and sat down. I looked around and spotted Iggy carrying a large cooler, and I grinned. "Hey, Iggy, come here, kid!" I ordered. He ran over to me, or at least did what he thought was running. The cooler was a little to big for him, so he stumbled as he ran. What a jerk, hahaheh. "Y..yeah, dad?" answered. I looked at the pitiful thing that was my sun, frowned, and pointed to the ground. "Set the cooler down there. I need a drink reeeaal bad." He did so, and adjusted his glasses in the process. I shooed him away, and ordered everyone to start setting up the tents as I popped open a Corona. "And when that's done, we can start fishing. And I promise this is gonna be one heluvah experience!" 


End file.
